Crescendos are fabulous

It's Monday but I don't mind. I feel good, had a great weekend of being productive and I have accepted Team Canada's defeat. I would reckon I'm ready for the week ahead.

I've thought about before, and I've thought about this many times since, was how my relationship with God would change when I realized I would be a father or was a father. I often thought that I would need God even more because of my low self-image of how I feel I will be as a father. Now let me just say that all this banter is relative I know as my belief of whether I need God more or less should not be dependent on the situation but for me, and I think for many, this is how we categorize things. Since Shanie and I have decided upon South Africa as our adoption country I have been reminded of these thoughts once again. I have often hoped that being a father would be an extra driving motivator in wanting to be a better person for the sake of my child, and an extra motivator in pushing me toward a deeper dependency to God. I view fatherhood as a major responsibility; not only the time it takes responsibility but more importantly the child's future welfare responsibility. I can only hope that this ideal continues to burn in me and propels me to strive toward excellence as a father and more fervent obedience to God who is my Father.

Post Blog Effect Syndrome (PBES)

I decided to get back on the horse and continue to try and establish a habit of this thing called "blogging". I'm finding talking about my blog is compelling me to blog again. It creates sort of like a social pressure which you want to do it because there is a built in expectation from others that they are waiting for the next one. Listen, if this sort of reasoning helps me to blog just let me be. The reality is probably closer to a radio broadcaster with one or two faithful listeners and does your wife really count as one? This blogging thing is probably going to take some time to get comfortable for me. Yesterday, it was the novelty of the first blog and I must admit it was sort of exciting because it was new and different. Today, not so much. The emotional push was not there. The excitement had left the building the day before. Many other semi-legitimate excuses and reasons for a no-show on day #2 blogger.com but, as I alluded to earlier, I started talking about my blog with a co-worker (shout out to you Sandy) and it kind of prompted me to just do it. This was a cue and I need to learn to take them.

It's best not to force these blogs further than what feels natural so I'll stop. I must remember to re-read the first blog to appropriately continue where I said that I would. I'm sure all my faithful listeners are on the edge with anticipation.

Somewhere in the beginning

This post (and blog) has been started because of knowledge acquired along the way. You see, if you know me, you will know several things: 1) I don't have much spare time 2) If I had spare time I wouldn't be writing in (on) a blog and 3) I'm flippin' scared about being a Dad.

There are many things in life that we "know" are good for us - whether to eat, to do, to believe, or to whatever. I know alot of things, alot of good things, but I very often fail to act on those things despite knowing about them. This blog is a good example of the exact opposite of what I just described. I have been thinking about blogging for a couple of weeks now, dropping "I should start a blog" to Shanie throughout this time. I wanted to start the blog for a couple of reasons. Mostly because I "know" that typing my thoughts down on a screen is probably a good thing if I can trust a good number of well respected people that do so and attest to this. The other reason is that despite being scared about being a Dad, I know that deep down I have something to offer to my future son or daughter. The reason I know this is that many people have said this to me (which for the most part I have had a hard time believing). Now, just because somebody tells you something doesn't mean that you should jump all over it and saddle up your horse. But, I also think that a good chunk of people, all saying the same thing are probably not just saying those things. By now, it's probably starting to sound like this is going to be a blog just for the building up of Warren's ego. If you believe this than you would be partially correct. You see, I think that we have a much harder time believing good things for ourselves than for others. I finally figured this out and today I am going to choose to believe that I am going to be a good Father rather than just dismissing it and subsequently discounting the notion. Let's pick up on this thought in the next post. To be continued...